A Parent’s & Player’s Guide to Soccer Season Expectations

Balancing Wins and Worries

By Dr. Brad Miller - Founder of Soccer Resilience

Summer’s in the rearview. School and soccer are back, and so are the routines, adjustments, and endless to-dos. Parents—you’re juggling a lot. So are your kids.

Here’s the truth: every season brings both excitement and challenges. Instead of waiting to feel overwhelmed, let’s be proactive.

As Peyton Manning kept posted in his NFL locker: “Panic is what happens when you don’t have a plan.”

So let’s make a plan. One that helps your family manage challenges and fully enjoy the season. 

Step 1: Highlight the Positives

• Talk with your kid about the opportunities this season offers - growth as a player, teammate, and person.
  
  
• Have them write down 2–3 positive experiences they expect (i.e., team travel, improving technical skills, competing together). Writing them down makes the positives stick. 
   

Step 2: Predict the Challenges

• Acknowledge that tough moments are part of every season (i.e., less playing time, injury, school stress).
  
  
• Ask your kid to write down 2–3 likely challenges. Putting them on paper makes them more manageable instead of overwhelming.
  
  

Step 3: Create a Plan for Both

• Discuss with your kid that this season, like all previous seasons, is a combination of both positive experiences and challenges. It will bring both growth and setbacks.
  
  
• For positives: Share one highlight every week and jot it down in a notebook. Over time, this record boosts motivation and resilience - particularly during struggles when it “feels” like nothing has gone well all season.
  
  
• For challenges:
  
  
1. Validate your kid’s feelings—it’s normal to feel stressed and disappointed.
   
   
2. Remind them that challenges were expected, so going through a difficulty isn’t a surprise.
   
   
3. Focus on two actions they can take (i.e., journal, create a plan to talk with coach, enjoy hobbies and activities outside of soccer, see a physical therapist if injured).
   
   

With this approach, you have primed your and your kid’s minds to have more accurate and balanced expectations for the season. Your family will be more mentally prepared, bounce back quicker, and soak up more of the joys of the season - without letting the tough moments steal the fun.

🧠 Mental Health Tip for September

Start Your Day with Balanced Expectations

One of the best ways to boost mental health is to predict both the good and the hard parts of your day. Here’s how to set yourself up each morning:

1. Expect a Positive Surprise
   Tell yourself: “At least one good thing will happen today—big or small—and I’m going to notice it.”
   It could be a kind word, a laugh with a friend, or a small success. When your brain’s negative bias tries to spoil the moment—by worrying it won’t last or that the rest of the day won’t measure up - pause. Take a deep breath in, a slow breath out, smile, and let yourself enjoy it fully. 
2. Expect a Negative Surprise
   Also remind yourself: “At least one challenge will pop up today—and I can handle it.”
   When it does, say (out loud or write it down) three times: “I have the capacity to take on this challenge and I will.” Remember, it doesn’t have to be perfect. Getting through it—on your own or with support—is enough.

When you begin the day by predicting both positive and negative surprises with a plan in mind, you take away the shock factor. You feel more in control, less anxious, and more motivated to lean into both the joys and the challenges. That balance is what strengthens mental health.