Pressure Is Rising—How to Stay Calm When Expectations Get Loud

By: Dr. Brad Miller

Big moments don’t create pressure—they reveal how prepared you are to handle it.

As competition increases, expectations get louder. This guide breaks down why pressure feels stronger, what’s happening in your mind and body, and how players can train calm so it holds up when it matters most.

Why Pressure Feels Stronger as Competition Increases

Feeling pressure is actually good news—it means you’re doing something that matters to you.

As competition gets tougher, performing the way you’ve trained becomes harder, which naturally increases vulnerability to mistakes when you care about doing well.

The more important the challenge, the more pressure you feel—not as a sign you’re failing, but as a sign you’re exactly where you should be.

How Pressure Impacts the Brain and Body

The brain is wired to protect us from danger, and under pressure it can mistake the risk of discomfort, embarrassment, or disappointment for a real threat.

When this happens, the body shifts into a stress response, creating changes in the mind and body designed to prepare you for action, including: 

• Increased heart rate

• Muscle tension

• Racing thoughts or a mental shutdown

This survival response is helpful for physical danger, but it makes it much harder to perform the skills you’ve trained under pressure.

Why “Just Relax” Doesn’t Work Under Stress

Being told to “just relax” doesn’t help because it ignores a key truth: stress is a normal response when you’re doing something challenging that matters to you.

Trying to shut stress down without acknowledging it can actually make it worse.

A more helpful approach is recognizing that stress makes sense—and then shifting toward tools you can use in the moment, starting with slow, deep belly breathing.

How Breathing Regulates the Nervous System

Think of your nervous system like a gas pedal and a brake.

• Stress pushes the gas pedal—speeding up your heart, tightening muscles, and accelerating thoughts.

• Slow, deep belly breathing activates the brake—calming the body and bringing the thinking brain back online.

By breathing deeply into the belly, you signal safety to the nervous system, helping release tension, slow the heart rate, and return to a calm, focused state.

Mental Tools Players Can Use in High-Pressure Moments

Mental tools work best under pressure when they’ve been practiced beforehand—during training and in everyday life—so the mind already knows what to do when the moment arrives.

Three simple tools players can use:

• Breathing reset (in 3, hold 3, out 3): A quick way to calm the body, slow the mind, and return to the present moment.

• Focus mantra: A short phrase that guides attention and response under pressure (e.g., “I take on challenges,” “Help the team,” “Let’s grow today”).

• Mindfulness cue: A physical reset like tapping your leg, the crest on your uniform, or your wrist to signal it’s time to lock in and compete.

Practicing these tools daily—on and off the field—builds the mental reps that train the mind to respond on purpose instead of reacting when pressure hits.

Teaching Calm as a Trainable Skill

Pro players aren’t born calm—calm is a skill they’ve trained over time.

With practice, you can learn to manage stress responses so your body stays alert and ready while your mind remains present and focused, even when pressure rises.

A simple place to start is daily deep belly (triangle) breathing—in for 3, hold for 3, out for 3—for at least one minute, twice a day, practiced first when you’re calm so it’s available when you’re not.

🧠 Mental Health Tip

Did you know anxiety can be helpful?

Anxiety highlights what’s important and can motivate preparation and follow-through. It becomes unhelpful when it turns into overwhelming worry about things you can’t control.

Catch anxiety early by noticing body signals like a racing heart, muscle tension, or butterflies, and use slow, deep belly breathing to calm the nervous system so your mind can refocus and make a helpful plan.