From Self-Criticism to Confidence: A Mental Resilience Reflection for 2025

By: Dr. Brad Miller

As the year comes to an end, many of us take time to look back on 2025. But here’s the tricky part: reflection often leaves us feeling disappointed, frustrated, or “not enough.”

There’s a reason for that.

Why Reflection Often Feels So Hard

Our brain is wired with two strong biases:

1️⃣ It over-focuses on the negative (research shows roughly 80% of our daily thoughts lean negative).
2️⃣ It over-focuses on outcomes instead of growth or effort.

So when we review our year, the brain naturally remembers what we didn’t do before it remembers how we grew. On average, our mind notices four ways we fell short for every one way we made progress.

Imagine your coach, boss, or teacher giving you an evaluation with that same ratio: four criticisms for every one positive. You’d walk away feeling discouraged — and that’s exactly how our brain makes us feel unless we intervene with mental resilience strategies.

The Good News

We can help our brain create a more accurate and helpful reflection — one that boosts motivation, confidence, and wellbeing.

Below is a simple 6-Step Year-End Growth Review to help you reflect on 2025 through a growth lens instead of a self-judgment lens.

🔁 6-Step Mental Resilience Review for Your 2025 Growth

1️⃣ Choose an area of your life and phrase it as growth.

Use a process title, not an outcome title.

Instead of:
“Did I get in shape?”

Use:
“Where I grew in my physical fitness.”

This primes your mind to look for growth, not shortcomings.

2️⃣ Write down two times you showed courage or tried something uncomfortable.

These are moments when you leaned into challenge — regardless of the result.

Example:
“I met with a personal trainer once even though I felt nervous and self-conscious.”

3️⃣ Write at least two ways you put in effort (your process steps).

Growth comes from what you practice, not the final outcome.

Example:

• Exercised at least 30 minutes three times a week for the last three months.
• Added stretching and foam rolling twice a week.

4️⃣ Write two ways you actually grew in 2025.

Compare your Jan 1, 2025 self to where you were at any point during the year.

Example:

• Went from exercising once a week to three times a week.
• Started weight training consistently for the first time.

Tip:
Even if you’re not currently maintaining the progress, write it down. Growth you achieved at any point proves you are capable of improving again — this boosts confidence and motivation.

5️⃣ Identify two ways you're negatively comparing yourself to others.

Comparison steals momentum fast.

Example:
“Even after noticing my progress, I immediately compared myself to my friend who ran a 10K this fall.”

Tip:
When comparison shows up — predict it, pause, breathe, and re-read your growth from Steps 2–4.

6️⃣ Write two obstacles you faced in 2025 — and one action for each to navigate them in 2026.

Example:
Obstacle: “When I have low energy, I usually skip workouts.”
Action: “When my energy is low, I remind myself that even low-energy workouts build resilience and still count toward my process goal.”

Tip:
Naming obstacles + choosing one action step increases motivation and confidence. It shifts reflection from “why I failed” to “how I will grow.”

🎯 How to Use This Tool

Repeat this 6-step process for at least 3 areas of your life.

This creates a more complete, accurate, and self-compassionate review of your year — one rooted in effort, courage, and growth instead of self-criticism.

💬 A Final Thought

A year-end review is not inherently helpful or harmful — it depends on what you focus on.

When you focus on:

✔ the challenges you took on
✔ the moments you stepped out of your comfort zone
✔ the efforts you invested
✔ the progress you made
✔ the actions you can take going forward

…you give yourself the most accurate picture of 2025 — and the strongest foundation for motivation in 2026.

From all of us at Soccer Resilience
Happy Holidays — and here’s to a new year of continued growth, confidence, and resilience in 2026!

🧠 MENTAL HEALTH TIP FOR DECEMBER

Use gratitude to interrupt unhelpful self-comparison

Did you know our brains are hardwired to compare ourselves to others? It’s an ancient survival instinct — and when combined with the brain’s heavy bias toward the negative, it often leads to overly harsh self-comparisons.

This is especially common during the holidays, when we see highlight reels of everyone else’s achievements, celebrations, and “perfect moments.”

✍️ Daily Gratitude Reset

Every day, write down three things you’re grateful for.

This doesn’t ignore challenges — it gives your brain a more accurate picture of your life, not just the negative.

Tip:

• Write your gratitude list on paper to make it stick longer in your mind.
• Don’t repeat items on future days — this trains your brain to search for more good, expanding your sense of appreciation.

Over time, gratitude helps your brain notice more of what’s going well, even during stressful seasons — strengthening motivation, resilience, and emotional wellbeing.